when did we become so cold hearted? one sided? so unable to look at anyone's situation but our own? when did "pro-choice" become "pro-abortion"? the right to choose in no way infers one way or the other how someone feels about the right to life. it infers CHOICE.
i am 100% pro choice. 100%. but i am personally pro-life. let me tell you how i know this. at 22, i was unmarried, swimming in college loans, had just put a down payment on a condo and working 2 jobs. i was living with my parents while my condo was under construction, and had just purchased my first car. i was already in debt up to my eyeballs, but confident about my future. and my boyfriend was still in college. i had plenty of time to figure it all out. until i didn't. we were smart. i had been on birth control for years. and had just recently stopped taking the pill due to some health concerns. and that was all it took. one visit.
i can remember the absolute TERROR i felt when my pregnancy test came back positive. and then the next 3 i took just to make sure. unmarried. strike 1. underwater financially. strike 2. TERRIFIED. strike 3. i would love to say that i never for one second considered an abortion. but i did. and i personally decided that it was not for me. but i can not, for one second, say that choice was easy. i could not love my son any more if i tried. but it was not then, and is not now easy. every single one of my plans changed that day. and i have never ever financially recovered from that decision. is that callous? maybe. but it is TRUE. i am so incredibly lucky that i have a family that supported me. that helped me buy diapers and formula. over and above the 5000$ credit card i ran up at BJs. i had a car and a place to live. a college degree and access to good healthcare. i was SAFE. and it was still SO HARD. i can not imagine making that same choice if i did not have that support system. i am not sure that i could have.
now imagine if you are in high school. and you have sex with your boyfriend and the condom breaks. you have a scholarship to college, no job and parents who will not understand at all - as they are incredibly religious. you have a "boyfriend" who immediately says he will deny it was him. who starts to try to ruin your reputation. what do you do?
imagine you are a college junior who has an ill-advised hook up. you are paying for college on your own. you dont have a boyfriend. your parents will never speak to you again. you will not be able to finish school. your life will never be that same.
now imagine you are married. and pregnant. elatedly pregnant at 4 months. with a nursery planned. and the doctor tells you, your sweet baby is not growing. that she will never fully form. this baby that you want and love and have tried to have will suffer needlessly if carried to term.
who are you to judge? how do you know what you would do? these are just a few simple, personal examples of women who made different CHOICES. each had lasting, indelible impacts on their lives. ANYONE who says choosing to have an abortion is easy, is intentionally belittling anyone who has ever had to make the choice.
No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg.—Frederica Mathewes-Green
now let me ask you - all of YOU - who are pro-life PERIOD. where are you when these women need government assistance? where are you when they need healthcare? where are you when they have nowhere to live? when they can no longer go to school? or cant find work? where are you when they cant find affordable childcare? when their children need vaccines? or get sick and need medicine? WHERE ARE YOU????
not everyone has a supportive family. not everyone has consensual sex. not everyone has options. i can promise you that 99% of women that decide to terminate their pregnancies do so because they feel that they have NO OTHER OPTION. they understand the weight and magnitude of that decision. and they LIVE with it, every single day. i am sure, some regret it. i know many that mourn their entire lives. and i know that most fervently believe it was the right decision.
i UNDERSTAND your catholicism. or whatever other ism you believe in that reveres life above
Adopt, you say. There are so many people who want to adopt. but only those babies who don't need anything extra. everyone loves a healthy baby. what happens to the babies with special needs? the babies born drug addicted? the babies with cleft palates who need years of expensive surgeries? where are all of you then? why do we still have children in foster care and orphanages? why do children of all ages still go hungry? because in an "ideal world" we can sleep easier knowing we stood up for what was "right"?
how is it right to determine what is best for someone else? why are we so sure that what we think is best, is actually best? how can bringing a child into the world that you can not take care of override the decision to prevent a lifetime of suffering? if this world were fair or just, children would never suffer a lifetime of neglect or abuse. not every person who gets pregnant is capable of taking care of their baby - in the womb or outside of it. and we should not make the determination for them that they have to.
being pro-choice does not make me a baby hater. or a baby killer. or even pro abortion. it makes me PRO CHOICE. women are smart enough, competent enough, and compassionate enough to make this incredibly difficult decision for themselves. i understand that it is easier to label us as militant feminists. call us monsters. murderers. what we are is WOMEN. who are determined to control our own bodies, our own lives, and our own destinies.
it is time to stop judging every person who does not conform to your beliefs. it is time to have some compassion for each other. it is time to reach out to the women who have had to go through this. be kind. pray for them. support them. stop hating them for wanting the right to make decisions for themselves.
No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body.—Margaret Sanger
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